Ruminations and Peeves

I Think I'll Have The Boy, Please...

2006-06-15T18:35:00.000-05:00

This is disgusting. For $20,000, doctors in the US will perform some work on human eggs and sperm in a laboratory that will let people select whether or not they get a male or female baby.

"Some people spend $50,000 to $70,000 for a BMW car and think nothing of it, but this is a life that's going to be with us forever," said Robert, an Australian who asked that his last name not be used to protect the family's privacy. He and his wife, Joanna, have two boys. Now they want a girl."

I wonder how many of these people will be honest with their kids and let them know how they were "specially selected" because mommy and daddy were vain, shallow, assholes? Maybe someday medical science will come up with a way for babies to select their parents.

Time to flush the toilet...

2006-05-24T13:38:00.000-05:00

As if we needed more evidence that it's time to flush the toilet that has become the US Congress, today's fatuous grandstanding and appeals to 'sacred tradition' take the cake. A congressman from Louisiana is caught on tape accepting a bribe from foreign interests, a lawful search of his home turns up nearly $100,000 wrapped up and hidden inside a freezer, and when the FBI executes a lawful search of his congressional office, the House of Representatives has a collective shit fit. I can understand Democrats coming to this sleazeball's defense, but the Republicans?

"House Speaker Dennis Hastert demanded
Wednesday that the FBI surrender documents and other items agents seized on Capitol Hill in what lawmakers said was an unconstitutional raid. "I think those materials ought to be returned," said Hastert, adding that the FBI agents involved "ought to be frozen out of that (case) for the sake of the Constitution."

'Frozen out of that case' is an interesting choice of words considering where the FBI found the congressman's stash of cash, but who the heck does Hastert think he's fooling with his 'sake of the Constitution" mumbo-jumbo? I can't find one word in the Constitution that says elected officials are immune from warranted searches and seizures or that their private offices sacred territory that is off limits to law enforcement. Yes, this may indeed be the first time in 219 years that the police have executed a search warrant on a congressman's office. So? The important question we should be asking is just how corrupt is this congress that the Justice Dept had to take such a dramatic step? I think the FBI probably needs to pay a little visit to the offices of Rep Hastert as well as all the other vain and arrogant politicians who believe the laws of this country are only meant for us schmucks but don't apply to them.

Thomas Jefferson said, "The time to guard against corruption and tyranny is before they shall have gotten hold of us. It is better to keep the wolf out of the fold, than to trust to drawing his teeth and talons after he shall have entered." It's gotten a hold of us. Now what are we going to do to shake it off?

Got Virgins...?

2006-05-04T10:01:00.000-05:00

Found this on Wikipedia today. It's a partial list of the folks Zacarias Moussaoui will be sharing prison space with.

Omar Abdel-Rahman - leader of the New York City landmark bomb plot
Mahmud Abouhalima - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.
Ahmad Mohammed Ajaj - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing
Mohamed Rashed Daoud Al-'Owhali - involved in the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings
Mohammed Ali Hassan Al-Moayad - helped to finance al-Qaeda and Hamas
Mirssa Araiza-Reyes - drug smuggler and undocumented alien; killed inmate Frank Melendez
Nidal Ayyad - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing
Tyler Davis Bingham - Aryan Brotherhood member
Anthony "Gaspipe" Casso - Lucchese Crime Family figure and killer of at least 35 people
Ibrahim Elgabrowny - involved in the New York City landmark bomb plot
Wadih El Hage - involved in the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings
Luis Felipe (a.k.a. King Blood) - Latin Kings gang leader
Matthew F. Hale - White supremacist, (unsuccessfully) solicited the murder of federal judge Joan Lefkow
Rodney Hambrick - serving a 68-year sentence on bomb charges
Clement Rodney Hampton-Ell (a.k.a. Dr. Rashid) - involved in the New York City landmark bomb plot
Robert Haney - bank robber
Robert Hanssen- a former FBI agent serving life for spying for the U.S.S.R. for two decades
Charles Harrelson - Mobster, father of actor Woody Harrelson
Larry Hoover - Gangster Disciples gang leader
Eyad Ismoil - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing
Anthony Jones - Multiple murderer
Theodore Kaczynski - The Unabomber
Yu Kikumura - member of the Japanese Red Army
David Lane - Neo-Nazi leader, racketeering, conspiracy and violating the civil rights of radio talk show host Alan Berg
Joseph Leissler - robber, murderer
Raymond Luc Levasseur - American domestic bomber
Tom Manning - Killed a New Jersey state trooper.
Joseph Bryant McGee - bank robber
Barry Byron Mill - Aryan Brotherhood member
Khalfan Khamis Mohamed - involved in the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings
Dandeny Munoz-Mosquera - chief assassin for Pablo Escobar, responsible for the bombing of Avianca Flight 203
Abdul Hakim Murad - involved in Operation Bojinka
Terry Nichols - involved in the Oklahoma City bombing
El Sayyid Nosair - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing
Richard Reid - The "Shoe Bomber"
Ahmed Ressam - serving 23 years for attempting to blow up Los Angeles International Airport
Omar Mohammed Rezaq - Hijacked an Air Egypt flight in Greece in 1985.
Oscar Rivera - leader of the Armed Forces of National Liberation, a Puerto Rican terrorist group, for bombing 28 targets in the Chicago area. Received an additional 15-year sentence for an escape attempt (from another prison).
Eric Robert Rudolph - Olympic Park Bomber
Mohammed A. Salameh - involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing
Thomas Silverstein -- Bank robber and murderer; killed guard Merle Clutts in another facility.
Mutulu Shakur- an acupuncturist turned self-professed freedom fighter for the group Republic of New Afrika, sentenced to 60 years for bank robbery, conspiracy and murder (during the robbery, a policeman and two guards were killed.) Stepfather of late rapper Tupac Shakur, brother of Assata Shakur
Douglas Taylor - Leader of the 88 Skinheads
Saxon Taylor - Skinhead Leader
Earnest James Ujaama - tried to develop an al-Qaeda camp in Oregon
David Vargas - Convicted Of - Drugs & Voluntary Manslaughter.
Danny Weeks - kidnapper
Ramzi Ahmed Yousef - terrorist, involved in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and Operation Bojinka

The federal prison in Florence, Colorado is often referred to as a "Super Max" facility. That means Zac will likely never see daylight or be able to interact with anyone other than the prison staff ever again.

Too bad. It would be interesting to see what's left if you put an Islamic nutjob like Moussaoui in the same room with a Christian nutjob like Eric Rudolph or white supremacist Saxon Taylor.

Oil Idiots...

2006-05-03T16:28:00.000-05:00

Didn't take long for the demagogues and mental pygmies in Washington to come up with this:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/03/oil.congress.ap/index.html

"The American people are quite fed up. ... They know gouging when they see it and they're being gouged," said Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Michigan.

Horse shit. The ones doing the ripping off are the politicians themselves. Federally mandated taxes on petroleum products and fuels coupled with state taxes and assorted fees make up close to 45 cents of the price per gallon we pay at the pumps. Do you know how much "Big Oil" makes per gallon? About 8.5 cents. That's about as much as your local gas station owner makes as well. Have you ever wondered why you can buy just about anything at a typical gas station/quickee mart? Because you'd go broke in a month if all you sold was gasoline. If politicians really cared about the price of fuel and how it affects average people, they'd repeal federal and state taxes.

Your congressmen and senators think you're stupid and will fall for a bait and switch. Instead of doing the hard work of coming up with a rational energy plan, they want to pass useless legistlation and demagogue the issue any way they can to win themselves votes.

"The legislation, receiving broad bipartisan support, passed 389-34, and must now be considered by the Senate. But a proposal aimed at making it easier to expand or build refineries fell short 237-188. It needed two-thirds approval to pass under special House procedures. Democrats said the speed-up in permits might reduce environmental protection and usurp local say over refinery construction."

Come on people, pull your heads out and think for a minute. If you're going to bitch and moan over the high costs of fuel, then do something about it. The solution is right in front of your nose - either stop using so much or increase the supply. The best way to increase the supply is to drill for oil where we know it exists and then build the facilities to refine it.

No? You say you're not willing to do that? Then quit your whining, get a second job, and get ready for $5 a gallon in the next two years.

Tactical change #2...

2006-04-12T11:01:00.000-05:00

The illegal aliens marching in the streets demanding 'rights' to which they are not entitled nor deserve have changed their tactics. Apparently the leftist organizers who are promoting these marches realized any sympathy they might have gained for their cause went down the toilet when ordinary Americans saw all those Mexican and Central American flags. Pretty hard to claim you're an American and just want to be treated fairly when you've got a Honduran flag in one hand and a portrait of a Marxist terrorist in the other.

Makes you wonder though - who do they think they're fooling? The issue isn't about immigration. It's about border security and dealing with free loaders who believe they can cross borders with impunity. If you cross the border and stay in the country illegally, you are a criminal. Nothing more, nothing less. You are not "America", you are not an "undocumented worker", and you sure as heck don't have rights. You want rights? Get in line with the Haitians, Italians, Irish, Vietnamese, Chinese, Bosnians, and wait your turn.

Hey kid! Legal immigrants are indeed fighting and dying right now. Illegal aliens are not. They can't enlist in the US military.

Yes, many Americans are immigrants. Illegal aliens who cross the border and squat without doing the relatively simple steps necessary to stay here are not.

What part of "illegal" do you not understand?

2006-03-27T08:49:00.000-06:00

Something's missing in all this hoopla about proposed immigration changes. I've been watching the news and seeing crowds of protestors in cities around the country. Many are carrying signs that say things like "We want Immigrant Rights". OK, I'm cool with that. I don't want to see anyone in this country denied their rights. Women, gays, blacks, and immigrants all have the same rights guaranteed by the Constitution. The question I have is that nowhere in this discussion have I heard exactly which rights some immigrants think they're being denied. Are immigrants not allowed to vote? Are they denied access to jobs, college, or medical care? Are they not allowed to drive cars or eat at the same restaurants as everyone else? They are? So what's the big deal?!?

The big deal is how some people in this country define the term immigrant. Much of my family came to this country in the early to middle 1800's. Another batch came in the early 1900's. They jumped off the ship, signed whatever forms they needed to sign, and became American citizens. They are what you call "legal immigrants". The people who are marching in the streets today are what you call "illegal immigrants". Many have come to this country for legitimate reasons I'm sure, but somehow have failed to take the necessary steps needed to reside here legally. Why they don't do this I don't understand, but it seems to me that you shouldn't be allowed to make a conscious decision to defy the rules and then whine when you don't get all the goodies everyone else does.

Maybe we should revise immigration policies and streamline the process. I don't doubt for a minute that the process of applying for a visa, work permit, or naturalization status sucks. This is government after all. It takes hours to renew a driver's license. I can only imagine how tedious it is to apply for citizenship. But that's not the point. The point is unless you follow the rules and become a citizen, you ARE NOT and NEVER WILL BE entitled to the same rights and privileges as everyone else. I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but that's the way it works.

So you might as well pack up your Che Guevara banners, Down with Bush placards, and other junk and shove them where the sun does not shine. Legal immigrants have rights in this country. Illegal immigrants do not.

You missed a couple...

2006-03-27T08:47:00.000-06:00

Wait a minute. Didn't a coalition of forces from around the world go into Aghanistan back in 2001 to oust a thug government who regularly did this sort of thing? Looks like they missed a few.

Hundreds protest reports Afghan convert to be freed

Monday, March 27, 2006; Posted: 5:09 a.m. EST (10:09 GMT)

A source close to the case says that Christian convert Abdul Rahman "could be released soon."

KABUL, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Hundreds of people protested in a northern Afghan city following reports that a man who faced a possible death penalty for converting to Christianity would be released, officials said.

About 700 Muslim clerics and others chanted "Death to Bush" and other anti-Western slogans in Mazar-e-Sharif on Monday, officials told The Associated Press. Clerics have called for protests across Afghanistan against both the government and the West, which had pressured President Hamid Karzai's administration to drop the case against Abdul Rahman.

Kangaroo Kourts...

2006-03-15T15:15:00.000-06:00

How hard is it for the judge to tell Saddam to sit down and STFU?!? If he refuses, shove a sock in his mouth and restrain him with duct tape.

Justice delayed is justice denied. Bad enough the kangaroo court at The Haque let Milosevic's shenanigans stall his trial for over four years. It looks like the Iraqi's are going to let Saddam get away with the very same thing. At least Milosevic died a painful and undignified death alone and clutching his chest in a prison cell. It wouldn't be too hard for The Butcher of Baghdad to have a little "accident" in his cell, I'm betting.

Now the Israelis know how to put people on trial. Stick them in a glass booth and give them headphones so they can listen to the proceedings. The moment they get out of line or try to harangue the court, the guards give them a little reminder that they are no longer in control.

Easier yet, give Saddam the Coucescou treatment - a firing squad in the alley behind the courthouse.

Please don't bash my head in!

2006-03-15T15:09:00.000-06:00

Speaking of hypocrites, how about we bash their heads in and leave the baby seals alone?

There are few things more annoying than pampered celebrities who have more money than god and can choose to eat whatever they like telling people who have to scrape together a living what they should or should not do. Please find the nearest ice shelf and jump off of it.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

2006-03-14T11:39:00.000-06:00

About the only people I dislike more than religious nutters are bunny huggers. I don't know what cartoon world they live in, but the rest of us on planet Earth eat, wear, and yes, occasionally dissect animals. "Animal rights" kooks are moralistic Luddites and every bit as dangerous to modern society as their religious fundamentalist counterparts. Nothing screams, "I choose to remain ignorant of my surroundings and how life works and damnit, so so should everyone else!" quite like people who refuse to acknowledge the usefulness of dissection and animal testing.

Ledy VanKavage, a Collinsville-based attorney for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, released a statement Sunday, calling it "unconscionable" to offer such a course.On Monday, she said she was relieved the class had been canceled. Many students have cats as pets, and creating a "mini-course" about a cat's anatomy trivialized the subject, she said.There are other ways to teach anatomy, she said, such as by computer and anatomic models.

Bullshit. For young people actually interested in anatomy and biology, models don't even come close to hands on experience. And what the heck does having cats as pets have to do with anything? I wonder if Ms VanKavage knows where the cats used in biology classes even come from. I doubt she knows or cares that most of them come from animal shelters that put cats in trash cans and then gas them with carbon monoxide.

If she thinks teaching the next generation of doctors and scientists is "unconscionable", I'd hate to see what she thinks an actual horror is. But then people like her don't give a rip about real people. Cute little kitties pay her salary, not children who die of luekemia.

You might feel a little stick...

2006-02-21T13:38:00.000-06:00

Poor baby. This POS actually got his well-deserved execution postponed because he's afraid it might hurt. No shit?!?

I think executions should hurt and hurt a lot. Being put to sleep painlessly is fine for dogs and cats. They didn't do anything bad. People who beat teenagers to death with a hammer after raping them don't deserve the same treatment as innocent puppies and kitties.

There's nothing cruel or unusual about death by lethal injection. What's cruel is the pain the murder victim's survivors have to endure during the often decades long wait between the imposition of the sentence and when it's carried out. Cruel is the enormous waste of taxpayer money and resources needed to keep POS criminals housed, fed, and cared for.

However, I have a solution to this cry baby's dilemma - a bullet to the back of the head. No pain and it's lights out. He wouldn't even hear the bang.

Enough Already!

2006-02-16T13:28:00.001-06:00

God I wish the news media in this country would grow a pair and do what real journalists used to be paid to do - report the news, stake out a position, and stand up to the powers that be no matter how loud they howl. My local daily, along with hundreds of others around the country, are playing right into the hands of Islamic fascists by swallowing their propaganda hook, line, and sinker.

UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS

Paper apologizes after cartoon flap

Published February 14, 2006

The editorial staff of the independent daily newspaper at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign said Monday that its members were embarrassed by how the decision was made to run controversial Danish cartoons of the prophet Muhammad last week. "We want to make it clear that while we do not necessarily disagree with the decision to print these cartoons, we disagree with how they were run," read the unsigned editorial in Tuesday's Daily Illini.
The decision to run six of the 12 Danish cartoons in the paper's Feb. 9 edition was made by only two editors--a decision not supported by the full editorial staff, according to the editorial. "This newspaper prides itself on being a member of the professional journalistic community. We value freedom of the press, speech and expression. But we acknowledge that in certain instances, such as the publishing of these offensive cartoons, there are issues that must be considered," it continued. On Tuesday, a discussion titled "Making Sense of the Cartoon Controversy" is scheduled at the campus. It has been organized by the Muslim Students Association and the Council on American Islamic Relations-UIUC.

Wimps. No one was “offended” for over four months following the initial publication of those cartoons. Do you know why? Because it takes four months for the radical muslim network to get Danish flags sent around the world and schedule “spontaneous” riots.

Producing images of the prophet Muhammed, Allah, etc are NOT forbidden by Islam. This supposed sacrilege is only recognized by members of the small but politically powerful Wahabi sect in Saudi Arabia. All this hand wringing and calls for “dialogue” miss the point entirely and proves to the religious fascists that the US is weak and will bow down to whatever outrageous demand they make.

For shame. Americans used to stand up to tyrants. Now we just bend over and take it.

Let's see what the practitioners of that peaceful religion are up to today Part II

2006-02-13T12:05:00.000-06:00

I'm willing to bet less than 90% of the "outraged" have even heard of Denmark, much less saw the actual editorial cartoons the holy men say are so offensive. They're rioting in the streets because their holy men tell them to. Meanwhile in Pakistan, they're burning American flags and destroying KFC restuarants and Holiday Inns because the prophet said eating chicken and sleeping under clean sheets was sacrilege. I don't think these folks would understand a true insult if it lifted the flap of their tent and took a dump on the rug.

Now this is insulting. It portrays Israeli soldiers grinding up Palestinian children and Israeli Jews drinking the blood. Cartoons like this are published everyday in Arabic and other Muslim publications. And even though Israelis and Jews around the world are insulted by the racist and hateful message, no one in the Muslim media much less the Western press says boo about them. You'll have to excuse me if I yawn at the Imam's latest claims about the West being so mean to poor, innocent Isam.

WTF???

2006-02-10T08:43:00.000-06:00

This had to come from California. Retards there actually pay money to inhale oxygen. Alcohol vapor shots? The yuppie scum equivalent to sniffing glue.
Give me 3 shots of Mezcal and fat doob any day.

Let's see what the practitioners of that peaceful religion are up to today...

2006-02-09T11:33:00.000-06:00

Oh my. And peace be with you too, brother.

WWMD? (What would Muhammed do?)

Ahh. Nothing says "family values" quite like teaching
your children to hate.

Ya know, if they don't like the decadence and irreverence of the West, why the fuck did they move here?

ACHOOO!!!

2006-02-09T11:18:00.000-06:00

I just can't myself worked up about bird flu. Maybe it's because I'm not a chicken. Yet for the last 6 months, it's about all the media can talk about. PANDEMIC! DEATH! WORLD FINANCIAL RUIN!!!

Bullshit.

What, maybe 12 people have gotten it and died? More people die of severe hemorroids. Let's take a look at some of the other things the media says we're supposed to be scared shitless of:

Ebola - A nasty little critter for sure, but only pops up once or twice a decade and in the remotest places in Africa. I don't get to the Congo that often so it doesn't scare me.

Anthrax - Is a thrash metal band from New York. I've seen some scary shit at Ozzfest, but white powder in an envelope wasn't one of them. A disease that mostly infects sheep is probably the least of my worries.

Hanta virus - Killed three people in an Arizona trailer park several years ago. You get it from inhaling infected mouse droppings. That is not something I do on a frequent basis.

Monkey pox - Remember that from a couple years back? No? Me either.

I think we've got enough to worry about without the media making shit up.

Now What?!?

2006-02-03T11:01:00.000-06:00

What are they whining about this time?

I don't care for religion in general, but I'm all for believers having their superstitions so long as they leave me out of it. What I can't stand, however, is mindless zealotry and fanaticism. In the latest example of religious lunacy, towelheads around the world are overturning cars, burning flags, and making death threats to European news paper editors because a Danish magazine had the guts to publish an editorial cartoon depicting the prophet Mohammed with a bomb on his head. Sorry Abdar, but sometimes the truth hurts.

Bunch of humorless fucks. That's the problem with religious nutters. They have no sense of humor. They also have no brains. I thought American evangelicals were bad, but no one can hold a candle to fundamentalist Muslims when it comes to cognitive dissonance. Here's the deal. Apparently, it is big taboo in Islam to create an image of allah, the prophets, and most natural objects. This includes flowers, trees, insects, and other animals. What they don't seem to understand, however, is that that's their rule, not ours. It certainly doesn't prohibit the Danes or anyone else from drawing, and yes, criticising, whatever they please.

I used to buy into the notion that radical Islam was composed of a relatively small number of supernuts. Not anymore. A third of the earth's population not only looks like it's stuck in the fucking middle ages, but actually wants to stay there. My ancestors were northern European. They had a rough time of it back in the day and certainly weren't above laying waste to entire cities to promote their religion. But you know something, they got over it, let's see, about 300 years ago? Sure, we've had the occassional backslide into religious warfare - Northern Ireland and Yugoslavia come to mind - but for the most part the West has left religion out the equation since the Age of Enlightenment. (Now when we wage world war, we do it for a better reason - power and greed). Let's hope it doesn't take as long for Islam.

I don't believe that democracy can be achieved at the point of a bayonet, nor do I believe that the current American administration's intentions in the Middle East are pure, but as a culture, if we have to drag these clowns down off their camels kicking and screaming into the 21st Century, so be it.

Two steps back...

2006-01-26T13:29:00.000-06:00

What are the GPS coordinates?

So the same folks who get a kick out of blowing up little old ladies and school children with bus bombs have just won a majority of seats in the Palestinian parliament. Nice.

I hope the Israeli Defence Force has a couple Hellfire missles warmed up and ready to go. Here would be a good place to start.

Been away for awhile...

2006-01-26T09:33:00.000-06:00

Church Sign

Hi kids. Did ya miss me? Nah, probably not. I've been away for awhile working and finishing up on some work for my Masters degree.

Found a fun little website the other day. It lets you make your own church signs. You know, like the ones that say "Jesus is the reason for the season" and other cute sayings.

I thought I'd make my own. Here are some samples.

More stupid people in the news...

2005-08-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

I wonder if her last conscious thought was "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea?"

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stcharles/story/4
FE6D41E8DAC6DCC862570580074B164?OpenDocument

This happened just a little way down the road from where I live. It's a busy intersection with a large gas station on one corner, a McDonalds on the other, and a pre-school/day care center next to the McDonalds. What the fuck was this woman thinking? Just because you saw a movie where Vin Diesel jumped from a car doesn't mean you should. Stupid gout. You know that thing near the steering wheel that you have to move to get your fucking car to move forward? It also makes it go backwards! Never mind the thing marked EMERGENCY BRAKE! Thank Zuess the Excursion only clobbered one other vehicle. It could have plowed into the gas station or pre-school playground and killed dozens.

Here's another story that should be filed under the category "No Shit???"

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/nation/story/
64FFD0D797D924A686257058001135A6?OpenDocument

We really needed the federal govt to tell us this? DUH! I have no problem with stupid people removing themselves from the gene pool. I don't care how they do it either. Motorcycles, hang gliding, sky diving, mountain climbing, whatever. If you want to do dangerous things, go right ahead. What I can't stand, however, is their demanding that you and I pay for their stupidity with higher health insurance premiums and taxes to buy yet another EMT vehicle. Look, if you want to ride a crotch rocket and feel that wind in your face, knock yourself out. Just don't expect me to pony up the cash to pay your nursing home bills for the next 30 years because you left the better half of your brain spread on the pavement because you didn't have the common sense to put a helmet on. Here's an idea. Insurance companies should have a simple questionnaire that asks a few easy questions about the nature of certain "accidents".

Q: How did you hurt yourself?

A: I was riding a motorcycle.

Q: Were you wearing a helmet and/or other protective gear?

A: No.

Response: Claim denied, dumb ass.

I didn't know 22 was such a special age...

2005-08-03T16:09:00.000-05:00

Saw this in the local paper this morning:

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/metroeast/story/
CD790C1D110DD73C86257052004B8C02?OpenDocument

Not that a good old fashioned bar room brawl and shooting isn't news. It is. We need more of them. I just wonder why it was necessary for the headline writer to point out that the victim was 22. What's so special about that? Now if the victim had been a two-year-old involved in a bar fight, that would have been news. Never give toddlers beer. They don't hold it very well. I'm a father. I know these things...

Now this is more newsworthy:

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/metroeast/story/
25F775577F998FCE8625705200141E74?OpenDocument

You don't often hear that the woman beat the shit out of the deadbeat husband, but you can bet more would do it if they could.

It's not the heat. It's the humidity..

2005-07-18T14:45:00.000-05:00

It's July in St. Louis and that means one thing -- humidity and lots of it. Checked the Weather Channel a few minutes ago it said the current temp was 93 but the humidity makes it feel like 104. They call that a "heat index". I call it "value added weather".

Sure, it's hot, but you can go just about anywhere in the summer and be hot. Ask the people in Phoenix. No, you need to be sticky and miserable too. Like having a dirty wet carpet thrown on you and then getting clubbed in the head. In the tropics they at least get a thundershower every evening to wash the grime out of the air. Not here. Here it stays hot, muggy, and smelly for days on end. The air in the morning is so thick you can taste it and by afternoon the sky turns the color dirty bath water. The only thing you can do is pick a shady spot, crack open a cold one, and hang in there. There's at least two good months of this stuff left.

Discernibly turgid...

2005-07-15T08:12:00.000-05:00

In Texas it is now against the law for patrons of strip clubs to actually enjoy the show. Oh you can still slip dollar bills into g-strings, but you may want to forego the lap dance. The following is an excerpt from a new state law redefining obscenity:

"... patently offensive representations or descriptions of masturbation, excretory functions, sadism, masochism, lewd exhibition of the genitals, the male or female genitals in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal, covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state..."

"Discernibly turgid". I like that. Of course any law that relies on euphamism isn't worth the paper it's written on. Neither is on that refuses to define "patently offensive". Consider for a moment the fact that all public policy decisions are governed by the law of unintended consequences. This is Texas after all, a state that executes children and foreigners without so much as a shrug. Close your eyes and envision Texas Rangers bursting in on a junior prom and carting off adolescent boys who through no fault of their own popped a woody during a slow dance. From New Braunfels High School to the Dallas Cowboys, leering at cheerleaders in short skirts is a Texas tradition. Looks like Texans are going to have to keep their hats in their laps from now on.

He got off light...

2005-07-13T13:01:00.000-05:00

Corporate Ass-wipe

Former CEO of MCI Worldcom and social parasite Bernard Ebbers should thank his lucky stars this isn't China where they take white-collar crime seriously. Consider the fate of these poor souls: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5999223/

I know people who lost their jobs as a direct result of this man's greed and callousness. Thousands more lost retirement savings, investments and/or had careers ruined. At least the feds made a good show of it by asking for life in prison. Both Ebbers and Scott Sullivan, the Chief Financial Officer who concocted the scam, should be breaking rocks in the hot sun for the rest of their lives.

Too Fat to Fight?

2005-07-07T09:43:00.000-05:00

Nice. According to this report, the Army is turning potential recruits away in droves because they're too fat to meet even minimal physical standards. Guess that's what a steady diet of fast food, video games, and motorized scooters will do to you.

Back in 1978 when I was 17, I enlisted in the Army just before finishing high school. Having been a varsity swimmer, I wasn't out of shape by any means, but the first three or four weeks of Basic Training were murder. I can't imagine what it's like now for kids who can't make it across the food court at the mall without breaking a sweat. Little tards. Who needs weapons of mass destruction when you can just poke our soldiers with a stick and watch them pop.

Nice going America....

2005-06-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

Nice going America. While you were fixating on Michael Jackson, brain dead nursing home patients, and runaway brides, your government snuck up from behind and gave you a wedgie.

Today the US Supreme Court ruled that it's perfectly OK for local governments, real estate developers, and other private business owners to take your property and use it for their gain. The concept of Eminent Domain used to have a narrow definition. Not anymore. It's one thing for a government to force people to sell land so roads, electrical power plants, and other things that serve the public good can be built, it's quite another when that property is turned into a commercial enterprise like a strip mall, hotel, or football stadium.

Thomas Jefferson said, "A little rebellion now and then...is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government." The next time you hear your local politicos wax poetic about how their party sticks up for the little guy, you can tell them where to stick theirs.

No Special Privileges for Stupid People!!!

2005-06-14T15:09:00.000-05:00

God help us if either one of these mental pygmies reproduced. Their end of the gene pool could stand a little more chlorine.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story
/FF6A78166EADA86186257020001DA708?OpenDocument

This really chaps my butt. In yet another example of government as nanny, the Missouri highway department is going to spend $45,000 of taxpayer money to put lights between the spans of a major highway bridge so drunk, stoned, and/or just plain stupid people don't try to jump from one side to the other.

NO, NO, NO!!! This sends the completely wrong message!

What we should do instead is encourage stupid people to off themselves, not try to stop them. In this latest incident (of which there have been a grand total of five in the 13 years the bridge has been open), two drunken idiots apparently thought it would be a good idea to stop their car on the bridge in the middle of the night to take in the majestic scenery of river and stars. Deep thinking no doubt led to the brilliant idea that jumping to the other span would provide an even more wonderful view. One can only hope their last thought before hitting the water 80 feet below was "Maybe I should have stayed in the car?" I've got a better idea for the highway department: Float dumpsters at intervals below the bridge to collect the bodies of morons and dispose of them in the nearest landfill.

Ya Think???

2005-06-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

Creepy is as creepy does.

According to his attorney, Michael Jackson has decided to stop "sharing his bed with little boys" following his recent acquittal on child molestation charges. When I was a kid, we were afraid of things that looked like that hiding under our beds. There's no way in heck I'd actually get into a bed with it!

Now that the latest trial of the century is over, maybe the news media can get back to reporting important things that affect people instead of freak shows like this. Last I heard, there were still a couple of wars going on .

Worst Inventions of the 20th Century

2005-05-31T14:29:00.000-05:00

I absolutely hate these things. As if American kids aren't lazy and fat enough, now they can't be bothered to propel themselves down the street with their own power anymore. They are the terrestrial version of those other mechanical vermin, Seadoos. I honestly believe riding these motorized abominations causes riders to gain calories instead of burn them. Loud, smelly, and annoying beyond belief. You can hear the little tards coming a mile away, especially at night when most folks are trying to get their kids to bed and enjoy a little quiet time. I think a taut section of barbed wire strung neck high across the street should get their attention.

And who doesn't from time to time wish they could permanently implant a few of these in people's ears? Alexander Graham Bell probably wishes he'd let the acid burn through his hand instead of calling for Watson when he sees what's become of his original invention. STFU and DRIVE!

Memorial Day...

2005-05-27T15:01:00.000-05:00

Jefferson Barracks National Cemetary

As you can probably tell, I'm not a particularly reverant person. I am, however, proud to be one of over five generations of family members who have served in the US military. Because of this, I take holidays like Memorial Day and Veterans Day fairly serious. I admit that my feelings about the current wars are mixed. History will tell whether or not they were a good idea. Regardless, there are a lot of men and women right now who are doing their best to make the world a better place.

During the next several days I plan on taking a moment between beers and BBQ pork steaks to remember those serving right now as well as those who went before but didn't come back. It's the least we can do.

Who should I vote for?

2005-05-27T13:46:00.000-05:00

Pedro or Jesus?

This morning on the way to work I counted no fewer than six of those small green yard signs that say"Jesus". You know the ones I mean? I didn't know He was running for something. School board maybe?

Doesn't matter. I'm voting for Pedro instead.

People who would not be missed if they suddenly vanished...

2005-05-27T13:06:00.000-05:00

Here's a short list of people who would not be missed if they suddenly vanished from the face of the earth. These are people whose 15 minutes of fame were up long ago, never really deserved any to begin with, and/or make everyone else around them wish they would just go away.

Given the nature of our culture, this topic will undoubtedly be a work in progress. Feel free to add to the list.

Parental Notification: Descriptions found here might be a little rough.

Michael Jackson - For obvious reasons.
Paris Hilton - Gives good head and takes skank up a notch, but so what? Talentless and brain dead. Let's hope she never breeds. Same goes for her sidekick.
J Lo - The least talented and ugliest Fly Girl. Why are we still seeing her fat ass all over the place?
Anyone who has had anything to do whatsoever with the program "Survivor". Until they resort to drinking their own urine and cannabalizing one another, the program's title is false advertising. (Suggestion to the producers - don't allow a Marine on the show unless you want it over real quick.)
Rush Limbaugh, Anne Coulter, Michael Moore, and all the other partison blowhards who make a living spewing propaganda and fostering the decline of civility in the public square. Here's a clue: Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. Unless yours is especially pretty or offers something original, no one cares.
Current members of the Kansas Board of Education who apparently do not see the correlation between promoting religious fundamentalism in public schools and the ensuing decline in student achievement. May a house fall on them and soon.
So called "social conservatives" and the toadies in the Republican party who lap at their boots. Not content with their own shitty lives, they make it their duty to crap on everyone else's. To paraphrase the late Ann Landers, Mind your own fucking business!
That guy who climbed up the crane in Georgia and refuses to come down. Jump already!
Congressman from Texas Tom Delay. There's something especially odius about politicians who've built their careers being nasty suddenly crying crocodile tears when their opponents call them on the carpet.

WTF?!?

2005-05-26T09:08:00.000-05:00

Not a good look for anyone...

I'm sorry, but big honkin 'fro's only looked good on a handful of people. Angela Davis and Billy Preston come to mind. On squirrely white guys like Phil Spector, they're just scary. This has to go under the heading WTF?!?

Welcome...

2005-05-12T21:52:00.000-05:00

Good evening ladies and germs. My name is... and I live in... (I might share that info at another time). Lately I've have had an explosion of thoughts and ideas that have been hard to keep track of. Some are personal, some are satirical, some are funny, and some are just plain stupid. Either way, this is where they're gonna go. I'm new at the blogging thing so I won't make any promises about fresh material and updates. I do promise however that what gets posted here is from the center of my gray matter and my material alone. In other words, what you read and see here is what I see and think about.

(Word of warning for those with tender ears) I cuss like a sailor and rarely hold back how I feel about anything. I'll try to keep the posts at a PG to PG-13 level for the general audience and give ya'll a warning when things start to get rough. So strap yourself in and get ready to rumble. This ought to be fun.

FB

Words and Phrases I Want to See in Print - Parental Warning!

2005-05-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

Think of this as an extension of George Carlin's Seven Words You Can't Say on Television. My wish is that someday these adjectives and phrases find more widespread usage in print and popular media. Lord knows they should.

Dick Cheese
Cheese Dick
Fuck Stick
Fuck Face
Ass Clown
Ass Monkey
Shit for Brains
Santorum (Thanx Michael Savage for coining this one)
Sperm gurgling gutter slut (Needs more widespread application. There are enough of them out there)
Lane blocking, cell phone addled, troop supporting ass fuck (Applies to both males and females)
Sushi eating, SUV driving, Bud Lite swilling, what the fuck cologne is that your wearing? excuse for a modern human male. You're goddamn lucky wolves are extinct. They'd pick your pansy ass out of the herd so fast your innards would be eaten before you could say "Help me Dr. Phil!"
Cock Fight (If guys are in to cat fights, it's only fair.)
Republicrats. To describe both sides of same coin.

If life was fair...

2005-05-12T21:04:00.000-05:00

Things I find peevesome come in all shapes and sizes. Here are some things that really tick me off.

Flag and Ribbon Magnets - If life were fair, people who stick two or more of those obnoxious "I Love America" and "Support Our Troops" magnets on their SUVS should be forced to either enlist into the Marines or offer up a child in their stead. Freakin' faux-patriots. If you really support the war and wanna piece of Bin Laden, then enlist or STFU!
People who think the government should post the Ten Commandments all over the place but can't recite more than three when asked. If life were fair, any proponent of this mindless BS who couldn't recite them would have more than his foreskin lopped off.
The idiot who thought it would be a good idea to sing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. Hey, I love this country as much as the next guy, but it's a ball game dammit. And if there was anything more Amercian than singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame with Harry Carrey, I don't know what it was.
"Free" websites, email providers, and hosting services. Do they really think people are that stupid? The only things "free" on the internet are programs so hopelessly buggy no one in their right mind would pay for them or sites that force you to use their business partner's equally shitty service to do even the most rudimentary tasks. You know who you are. May you end up living back with your parents when your crappy business venture goes belly up.